I just remembered I still owe my mom like 500 something. One time I was at the little church library at people’s church. I was 11 and my mentor Lucy had took me there. I don’t remember what I was reading, probably a children’s book. There was only one other kid there. Lucy was trying to encourage me to talk to him, she said “He’s your friend.” I can still kind of hear her saying it. Fast forward 12 years, to another small room, kind of dim. This one was a room called the senate chambers at Fresno City College. Jan was there with her grandson. I took notice of him and smiled when he did a fist bump with me. We knocked each others fist. Then he started getting a little shy around me. And Jan said it, she said “He’s your friend.” I looked at her when she said it; I was filled with confusing emotion trying to figure out where I had heard that. That confusion became fear, and I just had to leave the room. At 23, in a way I had never been so scared by an everyday moment. That’s what it was like for me to have a flashback.